Obituary for Vincent Vega

2011

Vincent Vega (the 1st) Fish (March 2011-June 2011):

At approximately 12:09, Vincent Vega was killed accidentally in his home in a (name of MT town) 3rd story apartment. Witnesses say his co-owner/mother was trying to clean his mucky bowl, but Vincent refused to be caught in a measuring cup during the cleaning. So his mother poured out a tiny bit of water as so to make him easier to catch, but, alas poor Vincent swan dived out of the bowl down to the bottom of the garbage disposal in the kitchen sink. His mother was traumatized by her accidental murder, and tried to retrieve him. But, there was no hope. She had no other decision but to end his suffering by chopping him up in the garbage disposal along with some stray lettuce and alfalfa sprouts.

Vincent will be missed by all who resided in his apartment. He enjoyed a short life of crime with shady fish dealers, and lived briefly in a pet store on Central Avenue. His hobbies included basking in the sunlight on the window ledge and eating.

Investigations are pending against his mother due to the nature of this suspicious event, although no charges are expected. Condolences may be sent to the family and a donation to "Betta Fish, Inc." is preferred in lieu of flowers.