The Field on the moon of Caildazh

It is a desolate place. The field is vast and ice-covered, smashing the brownish-gold grasses underneath. Individual blades rise, but are pushed violently backwards by a piercingly hot wind. The adults are bringing warm buckets of water to melt the ice, which is elementary but effective. The children stand on the periphery, waiting. There is a bent, human shape in a red dress watching from a wooden platform beyond the field. She has seen this all before.

Rosa wears red to distinguish herself from the others. She has lived for thousands of years and she understands even the forgotten languages, although she is not allowed to teach them. Her skin is the color of twilight with deep blacks and blues starting at her toes and ankles and slowly morphing into oranges and pinks to the tips of her ears. This does not make her unusual, it only makes her blend into the background. It is always twilight here.

This is why Rosa must wear red—so that the others can see her. They cannot distinguish bodies like Rosa’s from twilight; they only see her when wearing bright, unnatural colors. If Rosa takes off her red dress, she is invisible to most and can wander the place as only an observer. But, today, she wears a red color that is not found in the twilight. That is the tradition. She should be seen.

Rosa isn’t really female and not entirely human, but there are very few humans left and none of them live here. She is an other, but she was not always one. She is respected but often ignored, and she is only feared for her knowledge of pasts. Rosa has not always lived in the twilight place, which is a place that makes up the moon called Caildazh. She has lived on many planets and moons, and she remembers small details of all of them.

One child is staring up at Rosa from below the wooden platform. The child is young and does not blend into the background at all. Rosa knows that the child has smooth skin with only little hints of twilight color to cover their neon yellow undertones. The children’s skin bleeds easily in the hot winds, so they are wrapped now from head to toe in a burlap and wire uniform with pilot style black goggles to cover their eyes. It is an odd getup, but it is all fire-retardant and lined with a cool, soft silky material. The silky material was woven finely from the field grasses and then dipped into the soft, black space in the twilight place sky. This will keep the children safe including this one.

The child continues to stare at Rosa, even though they know it is not allowed. They can see the red dress making up arms, legs. They can see the uncovered neon orange-pink, long stringy hair. They look behind Rosa at the twilight sky, but it is difficult to differentiate the sky from the air here. They can also see themself as a separate body. The child wants to remove their sky-dipped burlap gloves to see their own neon yellow skin, but they know it is not allowed. This child has never seen these proceedings before and has already broken so many rules. This child’s name is Ko and Ko is also an other like Rosa. But Ko doesn’t know this yet.

There are hundreds of adults pouring buckets of water in the field. They do not require the burlap and wire or the linings dipped into the soft, black space in the sky. They are already safe, but they do wear the pilot style black goggles over their eyes. Many wear black, simple and sparse clothing because the wind is very hot. The adult shapes appear like shadows in the twilight air with their black clothing, but they too still retain some of the neon yellow skin underneath patches of twilight color. The older adults have more twilight color than the younger ones, and so they are more difficult for the rest to see but none blend in completely like Rosa.

On Caildazh, children’s bodies and extremities look complete as they are more neon yellow, but as one ages, they are seen in pieces with a piece of an arm or a leg fading into the twilight air. Clothing is not so important here, but most wear something very bright except on days like today. Today the adults wear black, the children burlap and wire, and Rosa wears red.

So then, in the desolate field on Caildazh there is twilight air and sky. There are adult bodies that can be seen working in the fields, but these bodies are only seen because of clothing to accentuate shapes, and arms and legs are seen in pieces. There are enough pieces for the children to see that the adults are almost complete with their work, the ice is almost completely melted now. Seeing the world in pieces and missing some pieces is not unusual, as this is how one sees in the twilight place.

There is faint drumming in the background accompanied by a string instrument similar to a cello. The music comes closer and gets louder. The children play the music, so there are some mistakes and snickering, which is not allowed but difficult to hear. These children stop at the periphery of the field and continue to play. They too wear the burlap and wire and goggles.

There hasn’t been much talking, because the hot wind is quite fierce and makes it difficult to hear without yelling. Yelling is not allowed today, as this is a respectful proceeding. Ko is not bored as the ice melting was very efficient, but Ko also isn’t sure if ze feels ready. Ko feels that something feels off or unusual, but ze has never been allowed to come here before. This is actually the first time that Ko has seen the field up close. There is no other grass on Caildazh, as most of the moon is made up of cement-like gray ground with a fine film of oily water covering the hard surface. The field is very curious to Ko.

Ko stares up again at Rosa, but Ko cannot see Rosa’s eyes. Ko wants to see Rosa, wants to touch her skin, and wants to ask questions. Ko is also afraid—afraid of the consequences of breaking the rules and afraid of Rosa.

“Ko!” whisper-yells an older child standing next to Ko, “What are you doing? You cannot look at her, you know it is not allowed.”

“Sorry” Ko whispers back, “is it our turn now?”

“Yes, just watch the others. We will begin together,” responds the child.

The adults join the children around the periphery, but they take a few steps behind and set the empty buckets down. The hot wind has already dried the field. There is no more ice cover. The golden-brown grasses are dying and brittle. The music continues, but louder now.

Rosa’s wooden platform starts to move. The platform is old but it is functional. The platform is set on a track but it is not electronic. The children must push it together. Ko is too young for this job, but watches as the other, older children slowly push the wooden platform toward the center of the field. Ko concentrates on Rosa’s red dress, the body pointed in Ko’s direction. This unnerves Ko. She should be lying down, or so they were told. But Ko does not turn away as the dress flaps wildly in the wind.

Then the wind stops abruptly, which is very odd to Ko. Then the loud music stops too and the field of Caildazh is quiet except for the squeaking wheels of the platform being pushed on the track. Ko is afraid that even breathing will be too loud now. Who has stopped the wind? They need it.

The adults and children around the periphery shift in their places. The squeaking continues until the platform reaches the center of the field and the older children pushing it suddenly run back to the periphery with the others as though being chased out of the field. They go back to their places with the others, their panting breaths audible in the quiet.

The field is an uncomfortable place for children.

“Are you ready?” whispers a small voice behind Ko.

“Yes,” replies Ko.

The children look in each other’s directions and nod. The field is so big it is difficult for Ko to see if the children on the other side of the field are nodding. There must be other small voices asking if those children are ready too. But they need the wind.

The red dress is still standing upright on the wooden platform, facing Ko. She is farther away now then before, but Ko knows that Rosa is staring back at Ko. Ko steps back, but is shoved back forcefully to zir place by an adult.

The wind suddenly starts blowing ferociously again after those minutes of calm. It seems even hotter now, but Ko is fully covered and knows the wind cannot cause harm. In unison, the children uncover the burlap from over their mouths and open as though to drink a glass of water.

The wind is scorching, but it does not burn them. Ko thinks the wind tastes sweet and airy at first, but it hastily turns bitter and dry. Then the inside of Ko’s mouth begins to crackle. Ko knows this is supposed to happen, but the sensation is uncanny and Ko is tempted to close zir mouth and cover up again with the burlap. But Ko knows that doing this will cause zir mouth to burn. Ko has practiced, but swallowing the real wind is different. The wind continues hissing and popping in Ko’s open mouth until it is fire. Still, it does not burn.

Ko watches the other children closely and together; they open their mouths, scream flames without sound, and start the field on fire. The blaze starts first around the periphery closest to the children, but the flames rapidly churn towards the center, illuminating the twilight air. Ko is surprised at the ease of this fire. The flames do not leave the boundaries of the field and continue to travel inward, but there is lavender ash that is sprinkling down on the bodies surrounding the field, which makes it even more difficult to see anyone.

Ko’s mouth fire is finished abruptly and ze quickly covers zir mouth with burlap again and gasps from underneath the material. Ko wants to turn away, but keeps staring at that wooden platform. The red dress is still facing Ko, but now, to Ko’s horror, the undeniable details of an adult’s face is clearly visible through the orange-ish crimson fire and the lavender ash. The face is still the color of twilight, but Ko can see the finely curved wrinkles underneath Rosa’s eyes and the crooked nose and the sharp hazel eyes. But the eyes are looking straight at Ko. They haunt Ko, but Ko cannot stop staring.

“Does it hurt?” Ko whispers to nobody in particular while still staring.

“Yes,” ze heard a reply of a usual voice, neither male or female and not entirely human.

The flames are eating away at the legs of the platform now. The wind calms again and it is quiet except for the popping and sputtering of the fire. The wooden legs of the platform crumble loudly with a fresh cracking but the layers of fire in the twilight make it difficult to see for most. The lavender ash continues to pepper down. But Ko can still clearly see Rosa’s face. She is still standing and staring directly at Ko, her eyes open.

Suddenly, the platform cracks louder and abruptly collapses into the flames, as does the twilight face and the red dress body of Rosa. Ko gasps as the platform and Rosa dissolve into the twilight and the fire.

Ko wants to run into the flames, wants to save Rosa for some reason. But this is not possible and Ko cannot cross into the fiery field now. An adult hand touches Ko’s right shoulder, a signal of comfort and a signal of permission that Ko is now able to move.

The children and adults start to walk away from the field unceremoniously while brushing off the lavender ash from their bodies. They are talking, some laughing, most somber. There are a few children, Ko’s age, who are sobbing and seeking the comfort of older children and adults. Ko knows they too are seeing this for the first time.

Ko continues to stare at the center of the field where Rosa had been standing on the wooden platform. There is nothing there but fire and twilight. Ko knows that the body is turned back to the twilight and knows that the fire will burn out overnight. Ko knows that the lavender ash will leave a fine dusting across Caildazh’s surface for the next few days. Ko also knows that Rosa is gone.

Ko knows that this is how you die in the twilight place.